AFSANA’S STORY

Seven years ago, Afsana and her husband attempted suicide. Her husband died; Afsana survived. This is when her life as a widow began.

When Afsana got married and moved to her husband’s house, her husband’s family began abusing her daily. Financial problems burdened the family. Their three children needed to go to school, yet their educational needs were overshadowed by other necessities that had a clear priority. It was one night in 2012 when Afsana and her husband felt that they could no longer carry all this weight on their shoulders. 

India has the highest number of widows in the world. The desert state Rajasthan has a strong patriarchal culture, and an environment in which widows are generally suppressed and discriminated against at all levels. 

The traumatic experience of losing a husband is increased by the cultural and social rules placed on an Indian woman after her husband’s death. Once married, Indian women are supposed to live in their husband’s multi-generational family homes for the rest of their lives. Especially in places like Rajasthan, it is not acceptable for widows to move out of this home after his death or to remarry. 

Traditionally in India widows are thought of as bad omens and, as such, are excluded from interaction in social spaces and are abused mentally, and often financially, by the communities they live in, as well as their in-law family. Widows in India face multiple barriers, as it is hard for them to obtain inheritances, land, or even get access to their passports. The great majority of Indian widows are illiterate because many got married in childhood, which eventually led to the end of their education. This lack of education, financial resources, and self-esteem results in widows rarely pressing charges when they are being abused or in any other way mistreated.

Afsana was left alone taking care of her children and doing housework with very limited support from her own and her in-law family. Yet her brother-in-law encouraged her to go to the Women’s Empowerment Center at Sambhali Trust, hoping that she’d learn skills to help the family’s survival. There, Afsana learned sewing and embroidery. Her work was so good that after one year she was gifted with her own sewing machine and obtained a paid job at the Sambhali Graduate Sewing Center. 

Afsana loves to create room decor, silk trees, and stars – symbols of growth and light. Friends at the Center encouraged Afsana to stand up to her in-laws and protect her daughter from an unwanted marriage. Afsana now lives apart from them and has gained the confidence to fight for herself. She has learned that her voice can no longer be silenced, neither by her family nor wider society.